(Edit: Thanks, Frank, for suggesting the change in title. The pun is all his!)
A few weeks ago, our landlady reminded us that one of our duties is to mow the front lawn. So I looked into the shed and found the lawn mower. It looked like no lawn mower I had ever seen before, to the point where at first I wasn’t sure that it was the lawn mower. In particular, there was a complete lack of wheels, something I had previously considered essential to a lawn mower. This looked more like a small zamboni:
That’s right, the bottom is just a rim of plastic all around. There are two very small wheels up front that are like tiny rolling pins, and that function only if you tip the whole thing very far forward so it’s standing on its nose, as it were. I looked at this and expected to have to smoosh it over the lawn with elbow grease.
Now, to be fair, it’s not as heavy as a gas-powered lawn mower, because the engine is so minimal. This mower is electric, and most of the inside is an empty cavity that holds the extension cord. (Don’t mow the cord.) Even so, I was not looking forward to rubbing the whole lawn with this thing.
But then I powered it up. Turns out this kind of lawnmower is a hovercraft. Yes! The blade whirring beneath creates just a bit of lift, so that when you power it up it starts to sway gently in place like the puck in air hockey. You can just glide this baby right over the lawn! And that internal cavity fills with grass as you do (turns out its called the “grass collection box” or just “grassbox”), which you can then dump in the curbside composting bin.
One online description of the latest model (the Flymo Easi Glide 300 Corded Hover Lawn Mower) says, “Lightweight hover design makes it easy to use,” and I’d have to agree.
The upside is that your lawn doesn’t have wheel lines all over it. If you don’t discipline yourself to mow the lawn in straight lines, no one will ever know.